In this video, we're going to talk about the supportive person, what they want and how to speak to them so they feel like they're getting what they want. You know what a supportive person actually wants? They want to be liked. They want to be liked by everybody. So, what is most important for them is how other people are going to react to their actions. If we think about it, the supportive person is the yes person. The person that, "That is a great idea. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, we should totally do something like that. How can people don't do that?" That's the type of things they say to you. So, how do we communicate with a supportive person? Well, there are three elements that we need to include in our communication. One, small talk; two, everybody and everything; and three, hierarchies getting specific as we go. So, number one, small talk. Let's go back to our example of a gatekeeper, someone we have to go through to get something new for the office, someone we have to go through to get approval to spend something. Part one, you're sending off that email to get the conversation going because you need to get some petty cash to buy tape and pencils. Virtual small talk is a question plus a reveal. So, instead of asking, "How's the weekend?" it's, "How's the weekend?" plus "I kept meaning to mow the lawn but I didn't, LOL." The response you'll get, instead of, "Fine, how about yours?" it's going to be "Fine. I totally know what you're talking about. Yes, me too, LOL, winky face." Right away, you're now communicating with them on the next level in a way that they like to communicate, in that supportive, "Yes, like me" fashion. Second, when you actually get to the request, it has to be everything everybody. What does that mean? What's important to a supportive person is making them feel that their actions are going to be approved by the group as a whole. So, you say things like, "Everybody says that you're the best person to talk through about this. You know what, Don? When I ask around, when someone needs help, everybody always says that I should go to you." "Oh, do they really say that? That's great. What can I do? How can I help?" So, you use the terms everybody or everything. Those two terms are going to right away make that person feel like the whole group brought you to them. If the whole group brought you to them, that means the whole group is going to be expecting them to do something, leaning them towards that motivation to actually acting. The last element is a hierarchy moving to more specific. Do you know why? Because if you have that supportive person, that gatekeeper that's super nice all the time when you see them as always talking but never gets around to getting what you want, the hardest thing to get out of them is a solid commitment to act within a certain amount of time. "You know what? I'm going to do whatever I can to help." "Great. Do you think you could process this for me today?" "That's a great idea. I have all these other tasks, but I'm going to try my best." That basically means no. Deep down inside, you know it. But what would you normally do? You'll be like, "So, you can't do it today?" and you try and lock them down. That's going to put their back up. Instead, you start with general, "Oh, do you think you could do it within the next week or so?" "Oh, yeah, easily within the next week." "Oh, cool. Would it be okay to touch base on Tuesday?" "Oh, you know what? I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it on Tuesday." "Oh, do you think if I sent you an email on Tuesday afternoon to talk about Wednesday, would that help?" "Maybe or yes, I think Wednesday might work." "Oh, great. So, why didn't I send you an email on Wednesday morning? Do you think that would be okay? If I sent you maybe like 9:00, 9:30?" "Okay, fine. Yeah, okay, let's do that Wednesday morning." Now, I'm making it like it's a dialogue, but in reality, this is an email exchange. It could be in person, but it could also just be an email exchange. Now, one final element. Although we are in the hierarchy stage, it is very important that we keep small talk in everything and everybody as two elements that keep happening because, otherwise, we're slowly starting to communicate with the supportive person as if they were hostile person, putting things in hierarchies and categories. So, periodically, if you're noticing a little bit of pushback, you're like, "Well, what about Wednesday?" "I'm just really busy, I'm not sure if I can commit to anything." "Hey, Don, I totally know what you're saying. We all think that you're doing an amazing job like everyone says that you're doing like three people's work right now." So what can I do? Everybody says. Throwing that in once in a while so you keep in that supportive mind state and virtually it sounds like you're communicating in an enthusiastic way, in a positive way, which is what they need. Throw in the LOLs, throw in the winky faces, throw in the small talk. If you ask someone to do something on Monday, and they're like, "Monday's not a good day." "Yeah, I know. Usually for me like Mondays I need my morning just a to wake up. LOL." "Hahaha, me too. Would Tuesday be better? "Tuesday would be much better." "Great. Why don't we try and do something for a Tuesday at 10:30. Would that be fine? Coffee on me, LOL." versus, "Here's the form. When can I have it done by?" versus, "Here's the form." That is how you communicate with a supportive person. First, you communicate on their supportive level, virtual small talk, a question plus a reveal. Then the everybody everything. You used the social group as the motivator. "Everybody says that you can help me with this." Then lastly you go from hierarchy going to more specific, a general commitment to a more, and more, and more, and more, and more specific commitment, still incorporating everybody everything, small talk reveal, virtual communication.